Billy

Tristan's Whore was drafted when the dreams began, more than seven years ago. Dreams of a woman whose face I never saw. They continued, relentless, and are now woven into the setting, plot, tone, the dissonant point of view in Volume I, and the tense. Present tense, because all the dreams were dreamt in the present.

The woman in those dreams was so complex, so overwhelming, that she had to be split in two, becoming monozygotic twins: Martha and Sasha. Or, as they call each other, "Kink" and "Kay."

I make no claim of channeling a spirit or supernatural force. There is nothing surreal about this story. I am Martha. I am Kink, Sasha, and Kay. And I am also Billy (the subtitle of Volume I). Amanda (Volume II's subtitle) is the woman Billy would've been better off falling in love with, had they met when such a thing might have been possible. Then again, Amanda is a lesbian, so perhaps she'd have been just another of Billy's many star-crossed soulmates.

Two years into writing this story, I came out as genderfluid to friends and family, many of whom are no longer friends, while others have become distant relatives. For me, Tristan's Whore is catharsis: the peeling away of masks and veils, onion rings and scabs. For you, I hope it is an exhilarating journey through all the shades of love and despair, annihilation and resurrection.

By the time you read this, there's a good chance I'll be a woman. I've been told Mrs. Oliphant isn't a proper name for someone bursting through the womb a second time. I'm thinking of Anni.