In an unconventional blend of poetry and prose, a birthmother shares her experience of an open adoption. The fear and uncertainty in planning. The heartbreak of losing her child. And, the work of healing and building a life after placement. This memoir hits every emotion on the way to the happy and hopeful ending.
I am not ready, not able, to raise you.
Ten years too early, I need time to grow up.
To offer you, I have love.
And nothing else.
You need more than I have to give,
Unless I give you up.
To parents who are ready, waiting, to raise you.
Ten years wanting, with a ready home.
Parents who have love,
And everything else, too.
If I do it,
If I break my own heart to spare yours,
Will it work?
Will you be happier, healthier this way?
And will I ever be okay again?
Twenty years of a birthmother's experience-the fear, grief, healing, and acceptance-are exposed in this intimate narrative. It will break your heart, then heal it, with new perspectives on adoption, openness, and the complex ways we define family.
